Wednesday, April 01, 2015

Chicago Tribune Editorial April 15th, 1912. " Only Captain Edward 'Rahm That Iceberg' Smith Can Save This Ship!"

 Photograph of a bearded man wearing a white captain's uniform, standing on a ship with his arms crossedImage result for rahm the titanic

                                  What shall we do with a drunken sailor?

'The boat struck a iceberg at 11 o'clock on Sunday night.'The Captain was down in the saloon drinking and gave charge to some-one else to stare(sic) the ship.'It was the Captan(sic) fault.
Emanuel has said often that the pension reforms he negotiated with some unions should be templates for deals with others. He also offered three revenue sources to hold down property taxes: a city-owned casino, a broader sales tax and surpluses in tax increment financing districts. Amid their testy interruptions of one another, Emanuel's command of specifics seemed to flummox Garcia.

Bruce Dold's Editorial Board Defense of Rahming the Iceberg Smith Sent By Wireless Shortly Before 2:20Am, April 15, 1912

" Only Captain Smith has the sophistication, experience and daring to keep this good ship afloat! By Jingo, the salty old gentleman, is arrogant to be sure, but he was unblinking in his resolve to say, 'Damn yer eyes, Mr. Iceberg, and give me  the whale road!'
It is only 11:45 P.M. and there is plenty of time to right His Majesty's Good Ship Titanic!  Jesus has only the historical say-so of some Lake Galilee fisherman about 'calming storms' mighty cathches and even the ludicrously unscientific claim of walking on the waves!
         Only some ponce would argue that better man step up to ship's wheel.
Captain" Edward "Rahm that Berg" Smith is the man to . . .(gulp), (glug), GOD . ..HE DID NOT ORDER THE LIFEBOATS INTO THE WATERS???  .the water's rising!  Damn you, Ca. . . '

Tenebrae -Of Shadows in Altgeld Gardens: Good Intentions, Sin Guilt and Poor Old Judas.




Today is Spy Wednesday; the day Judas Iscariot took coin from Caiaphas and the gents of Sanhedrin in order to betray Jesus.

Money exchanged hands.

It was also the day that, while Judas was ensuring that no kid would be baptized with his cognomen, a woman from Bethany anointed Jesus with oil.

An expensive gift was given.

Spy Wednesday is also known as the Tenebrae, the Time of Shadows, when the liturgical year goes dark, until Easter. It signals the beginning of the Passion - Jesus conducts the first Mass on Thursday, followed by the agony in the Garden, the disciples beat it, Peter denies knowing Jesus, the Temple guards arrest Jesus, take Him to Caiaphas and Caiaphas hands Jesus over to the civil authorities. On Friday, Jesus is condemned by the secular government, tortured and crucified.

Money and gifts are signs of intentions.  One is awful and one is sweet.

Most of my greatest sins were rooted in what I thought were good intentions. I lacked the Wisdom to know the difference between evil and genuine sweetness.

Some of my best moments as a human being were rooted genuine sweetness.  In 1998, just after my wife passed away, I was heading home to Griffith, Indiana, where a local woman watched my three kids.  I was and remain a train wreck of complicated grief and self-pity.  I picked up a mother and her young daughter who were standing in the south-east bound emergency lanes of the Bishop Ford Expressway at 115th Street, near the OTB. She had been standing there with the little girl for about a half hour and needed to get home to Altgeld Gardens.  I asked her why she was on the Ford, when the Gardens were to the east and told to mind my own damn business. The little girl about six or seven cried up a storm.   It was snowing like a son of a gun.  The woman had blown her week's money at the Illinois Gaming Board Approved entertainment outlet.

I gave the woman a twenty spot and drove the two of them into the Gardens.  I felt pretty good.

The next night I went to Trump Casino, played Caribbean Stud and lost two weeks pay.  Not my first or last rodeo that one. I am one degenerate gambler - two recoveries and waiting for next fall from grace.

Judas got nothing on me, but despair.

We all slip and fall. Peter denies Jesus three times before the rooster does the two count; James and beloved John, as well as the balance of the Disciples went into the shadows, as well.  Pilate washed his hands.  The good people, after considerable polling showed that Barabbas was a sweetheart, shouted for Jesus' Crucifixion.  The Men of the Cohort gambled "responsibly" for Jesus' clothes. Yet, we all can ask for forgiveness.

Money is not a gift.

That's my lesson out of the shadow. Time for this sinner to hit the Confessional box.  Reconciliation is renewal - you can't have a Happy Easter, or a solid Passover, without it.  

Monday, March 30, 2015

Just in Time For Holy Week, Secularist Sanhedrin Schmich Sends People of Faith to Pilate



Only two weeks ago Chicago Tribune Pultizer Prize Winning Staff Member Mary Schmich penned a St. Paddy's Day Weekend Caveate that warned Chicago to beware of drunken Irish hooliganism. Nice.  The South Side Irish Parade was drunk and arrest free, not because of Mary Schmich's snarky nonsense, but because people of faith and family policed the event.

The same people who do not get their hackles up over the Indiana Religious Freedom legislation that protects a family-owned businesses, if that family is Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or Cargo-Cult Polynesian, from being sued by anyone objecting to their right to refuse services due to religious conviction.

I lived in Indiana ( LaPorte/Griffith) from 1988-1998 and I loved every minute of it.  I met Quakers, Baptists, Assemblies of God folks, Amish, Menonites, Hussites and a pretty healthy population of Catholics.  The Lutherans didn't like me because they owned Prairie Tavern in Rolling Prarie, because I stuffed a hog with potatoes instead of sauerkraut.  They got over it. Gay or straight Hoosiers loved Harry and Karen's Bohemian potatoes with diced morrel mushrooms.  Does that embarass anyone?

The above mentioned Hoosiers are devout and voted in Mike Pence and the legislature enacted a bill that protects people from lawyers - that is all.

Let's say Bed and Breakfast owner refused to give a thirteen year old boy and a twelve year old girl Honeymoon Weekend package, even though both sets of Atheist parents had given written permission for the youngsters to experience the full glory of everything they watch on HBO.

The Indiana Bill saves the owners from a lawsuit - that is all.

However, screaming is all about gay activism and vice versa.  Schmich again locks step with the secularist Progressive talking points and paints Indiana people with her massive rainbow brush attached her very own idiot stick - to get at the tough to reach places, like North Judson, or Amish country.
'Religious freedom' law gives Hoosiers another reason to be embarrassed

Schmich turns to a number of gay Hoosiers and fellow Meme-readers in print journalism for support of her thesis.

Missing are the basic examples of Hoosier embarrassment implied in the headline.

What are the other embarrassments?

Schmich explains,
Embarrass. Verb. em•bar•rass \im-'ber-us, -'ba-rus\
To make (a person, group, government, etc.) look foolish in public.
A person may tell me that I am embarassing, or that behavior is embarassing and then give me examples -

Wearing only a jock-strap and snowshoes to a wedding
Scratching my rump before shaking hands with Mayor Emanuel
Peeing in the swimming pool . . .from the fourth floor of the Atrium to Emabassy Suits
Eatin' fois gras at Alderman Joe Moore's Peoples Picnic
Those are examples of my embarassing behavior

 Mary says this legislation protecting religious freedom is "another' example of something embarrasing in Indiana.

Okay, that's the table cloth, Mary. What is on the table?
 Being a Hoosier of any political stripe has long meant enduring the mockery that comes from living in one of the most conservative states in the United States.
"Mississippi of the Midwest." "Welcome to Indiana: Please Turn Your Clock Back 50 years." Bumpkins.

Those are hurt feelings, Mary. What are examples of the legislated sources of embarrassment?
Does the Borman Expressway embarrass Hoosiers?
Are Cover Bridges Embarrassing?
Hoagy Carmichael make one blush?
Ezra Pound give one the willies?
Boilermakers?
Mary Schmich is bigot.  Therefore, I need to Schmich-up
A bigot  is one given to bigotry:Definition of bigotry in English:
noun
Intolerance toward those who hold different opinions from oneself:
the difficulties of combating prejudice and bigotry Origen:Late 17th century: from bigot, reinforced by French bigoterie. from the Oxford English Dictionary

 Let's not fault Mary Scmich too much;after all she is only doing what was exactly acted out in Roman occupied Judea 2,000 years ago.  Caiaphas and the members of the Sanhedrin took care of someone who disagreed with the meme du jour and turned that person over to the secular authorities and him rendered up to Caesar. The secular cry was " Give Us Barabbas!" Barabbas was a community activist jailed for being a member of Occupy Jerusalem.

Traditional marriage is no longer acceptable as thought, or phrase, or matter of historical fact, because very wealthy gay activists have funded the term out of common conversation.

Mary is on the side of the secular angles and so was Pilate.

Come the Resurrection, maybe the bigots will have the scales drop.

Happy Holy Week, Mary, the People of Indiana, Gays, Breeders and Polynesian Cargo Cult Followers!


 

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Chicago Dunciad: The Sun Times Watchdogs? Hardly. Rahm's Purse Pups More Exactly



"While pensive Poets painful vigils keep,/ Sleepless themselves to give their readers sleep" I 91–92) The Dunciad by Alexander Pope.

I am his Highness' dog at Kew;
Pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you?
"On the Collar of a Dog".Alexander Pope

I am a devout Papist.  Catholic born-bred and believing, but I am a disciple if Alexander Pope, who was the John Kass of the 18th Century. Unlike, Chicago's John Kass, Alexander Pope had a very weak constitution: sickly and small;nevertheless, was fierce foe of frauds and fawning lick-spittles - especially those who lived by the pen and the pay of politicians.

Men of talent can be hacks.  Hell, if I had the opportunity I'd probably be one too.  As it is, I live in simple and fortunate honest poverty.

Today's Sun Times Watchdogs ( giving ones self a nickname always bothered me)  as two very talented investigative writers for the editorially compromised and daffy Sun Times, Tim Novak and Chris Fusco presented burnt offerings to the Rahm Emanuel election campaign.  The family of Jeremiah Joyce gets the treatment.

Nothing new, nothing ground-breaking, nothing here but clippings of old items meant to arouse the ire of dim-wits and partisans. This a solely punitive piece; meant to hurt people and not inform.

It is a pretty nasty piece of work performed for a particularly nasty person who is scared out of his wits by Chuy Garcia and anyone who stands with Rahm's foe.

I love the Joyce family, because they are honest, unpretentious people who help people who need help.  Mike 'Pickle' Joyce is not only the most great-hearted and fiercely loyal person I know, but also the smartest person I have had the pleasure to meet  with exception of the late Steve Allen.  Mike has coached the African American young men of Leo High School without pay and out of his own pocket for nearly two decades - because Mike loves them and the school.

I know, not intimately, all of the Joyces.  Each and every one of them is a fine person. Nevertheless, The Watchdogs trotted out old news spun as political gold.

Gold is a metaphor for crap in classical literature, by the way.

Tim Novak and Chris Fusco acted more like purse puppies than Watchdogs.  That is a sad waste of their time and their talents.





Fawning Bob, "I'm With Rahm" Fioretti!

 
“If there is a run off, I will support whoever the challenger is,” the alderman said then. “We need a change. Chicago is headed in the wrong direction under this mayor.” Fighting Bob Fioretti only last month.

Count on it!

7.4 out of 100 Chicagoans took Bob's word and cast their votes to the February 24th wind!

Well, like most simple, hard-working, salt-of-the-earth, 'unsophisticated' Chicagoans, I pretty much ignored Bob Fioretti.

Rahm Emanuel did not and probably sent Fighting Bob a sophisticated Whitman Sampler chock full ganche covered alewives and smelt with nice note hand penned from Mayor 9.5's delicate fingers, "Dive In, Bob!"

Now, today we learn about Fawning Bob Fioretti,
 “We need a mayor that can dive in, rather than a mayor that wants to create a commission to look at the problem that his supporters say does not exist,” the Fioretti statement said. “The mayor and i disagree on many issues. . . . My endorsement is about which of these two candidates is ready and able to take on the tough financial challenges this city faces. For me, that candidate is Rahm.” (emphasis my own)

He belongs to the ages, now! He belongs to this - 

Video from Second City Cop

Friday, March 27, 2015

Time for Another "Rahm Can't Lose" Poll, After Garcia Pins the Dancer!

UpDate - March 30, 2015: Told You the Poll was Coming! And Easter is Sunday.


He might not be King of the City, but he is Rahm of the Urban Jungle, and last night he got thumped by Commissioner Garcia, while dancing through the weeds.

The clear-cut aggressor in their second debate, Garcia even flattened Emanuel when the mayor tried to claim credit — as he did in one of his earliest campaign commercials — for a landmark achievement in Garcia’s backyard.
“Let’s take the neighborhood of Little Village that Chuy’s represented for 30 years. Working with community leaders, I finally closed the coal plant that was there spewing pollution,” Emanuel said during the debate on Fox32 Chicago.
Garcia was so incensed by Emanuel’s attempt to claim credit, he literally laughed out loud.

As did we all . . .

Now, we can expect a poll conducted by the firm of Ogden and Nash, or whatever, showing Rahm with 99.5% advantage.
Image result for desiree rogers,andy shaw
A random selection of  three imaginary voters(Desiree Rogers, Andy Shaw and Gator Bradley)  were given the following questions

1: What is your political party?
2: Do You Like You Job?
3: Rahm, or Poke in the eye with a hot pierogi?
4: What are your thoughts on The Epic of Gilgamesh?
5: Does race effect your shopping choices?
6: Does religion matter to Pope Francis?
7: What about gender? What about ganders? What about garters?
8: Does sexuality effect your views on sleep?
9: Does a politicians fingers matter?
10: What about college drinking?
11: Do you have anything to say about this quiz? Please say something. I'm lonely.  I'm a pollster.

Results:not for the squeamish
 1. All Identified as Democrats 2. All liked their jobs;especially, Urban TranslatorGator Bradley 3. Two of three voters ( Desiree Rogers, Andy Shaw and Gator Bradley) prefered Rahm to a poke in the lamps with steamiung pierogi, but Desiree Rogers hesitated asked for more time and finally asked for both. 4. No opinions - even Andy Shaw 5. All three race to shop 6. I guess . . . 7. Gender, ganders and garters matter - don not ask and certainly do not tell, but Gator loves garters! 8. Yes, especially when a new job at the Lotto, Peoples Gas, Obama White House and The Illinois BGA 9. Only to the candidate, when visiting  The Husky Hog BBQ at 335 W 31st St, Chicago, IL 60616 The Huslky Hog is crazy good!10. Weed.11. Not about nor to the pollster so much as a kind word.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The Chicago Snow Man - March 2015

The Side of House Hickey, only two days ago - March 2015
Chicagoans, you've earned this!  America's greatest poet was a shy business guy.  He knew.  So, do we all.

 The Snow Man
by Wallace Stevens
One must have a mind of winter
To regard the frost and the boughs
Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;
And have been cold a long time
To behold the junipers shagged with ice,
The spruces rough in the distant glitter
Of the January sun; and not to think
Of any misery in the sound of the wind,
In the sound of a few leaves,
Which is the sound of the land
Full of the same wind
That is blowing in the same bare place
For the listener, who listens in the snow,
And, nothing himself, beholds
Nothing that is not there and the nothing that is.

Come to America and Live the Dream 1912


Rahm 'N Noodles



"A little learning is a dang'rous thing;
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring:
There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
And drinking largely sobers us again. Alexander Pope for Chuy!


Guess who is all about sophistcated fiscal love saving Chicago from Detroitis, a simile for detritis. .

Rahm!

Guess who says so.

Noodles.

Noodles take sips of the heady stuff brewed by disciples of Dave Axelrod - the Godfather of the Narrative Meme and distilled bull-jive.  Noodles get hammered on a sip if Sneed, a snifter of Zorn, au bon pere of Old Trib and Early & OftenTimes and  go from pleasant, witty and charming  to bullet proof in every political exchange quicker than REM cycles.

Noodles thank their lucky stars, charms, strikes and lottos that Rahm Emanuel has guided the small city wagon train with sure and steady tough-minded fiscal sophistication and love these last four years. Ever mindful that Rahm can be a prickly little prique, Noodles know that unless Commissioner Jesus"Chuy" Garcia lays out ever measure he plans to take over next four years Chicago will surely become a ghost town on a lake like Detroit.

Detroit is the magic charm elixor for the sippers of heady brew.  My Alderman, Matt O'Shea, as fine and hardworking a young chap as one could find pours Detroit for Noodles in my Ward in mailer I got yesterday.  Matt O'Shea is loyal to Rahm and still respects his constituents who will put Chuy Garcia over Rahm come April 7th.

Noodles will weave and argue the tight and conversation ending meme that only Rahm can save Chicago from going the way that Rahm drove this hick burg on wheels. And that settles it!~


Monday, March 23, 2015

Another Rahm Poll to Keep Aunt Gert's Vote



Rahm is polling up a storm!  The only way he can remain in office and not join Pat Quinn in the unemployement line is to convince Aunt Gert that that "other guy" will have Mariachi bands outside of her nail salon 24/7.

Aunt Gert takes an Uber to Orland Park from Chicago Lawn ( 63rd & Kostner) because her nail-girls on Pulaski closed 'when the Mexicans moved in.' Aunt Gert is German-Irish and couldn't stand Polacks and Lugans either and don't get her started on 'the coloreds.'  Aunt Gert is with Rahm.

Dog Whistle meme - Chuy is a nice indígena mezclada con blanca from cowboy-happy Durango ( foreign born like Mayor Pushcart Tony Cermak -doncha know) who has absolutely no fiscal sophistication: Chuy has never sold off City assets, nor booted a car in Brainerd.

You see, Rahm climbed up on Richie Daley's knee one fine April day and said that he wanted to be Mayor ever so much. I am sure that Mayor Richie understood that the earnest little guy would call off any and all dogs yapping at his heels from Justice and the Chicago Media. Rahm is Mayor and has millions of dollars to prove it.

That is fiscal sophistication.

Chicago is Detroit with a Continental Finance MasterCard.  Sophisticated.

Here is the latest poll thick with John Dewey-esque outcomes pre-established and numbers to impress Aunt Gert, " Numbers don't lie, Dumbass!"

Aunt Gert is sophisticated,


Friday, March 20, 2015

Sticky! It's Time for Another National Conversation About Race!





Sticky Johnson is doing time.  He was a neighbor of Leo High School, who always had smile that could light up a room!  "Hey, Coach! Hey, Leo Man! Big Win! Go Lions!. . . .got any change? I'm $.30 away from my 40!"  Sticky was known to the kids, the coaches and the leadership of our school. Seemed to be a harmless bust-out on threshhold of turning his life around. Sticky could not catch a break.  Sticky is doing hard time.

Sticky should not be left out of our latest national conversation about Race. Conversations about Race always seem to occur whenever President Obama has an especially bad week - like Bibi Netanyahu's Likud victory over the Obama K-Street Commandos ( Jerry Bird's One Voice) sent to Israel to gum up the elections. Enter Starbucks and Mrs. Star Wars!

Here's the Internal Memo from Starbucks' Disastrous Race-Relations Push

Should have sent Sticky Johnson!  In this latest wake of Israeli obstreperousness, the Starbucks CEO laid out Race Together . . .kind of like One Voice, except racing and not voicing.  This gave Chicago's doyen of drivel, Michael Sneed, a great opportunity to pucker up for local monied-powerhouse's keister - Mellody Hobson - Mrs. Star Wars Lucas Museum and Landfill. Mellody Hobson?  Is her given name pronouned in the Iberian fashion?  MAYOD?  Probably not.

Hey, Kids!  TRY and find a Starbucks in an impoverished black neighborhood! T'aint any! A Starbucks is Chatham Heights home to septuagenarian Civil Rights activists, retire CPD Commanders and Bankers B Starbucks Hyde Park Lite just east of Clarence Darrow's ashes and C BUCKS in tony Hyde Park Peoples Republic of Obama


Starbucks, Mellody Hobson, David Axelrodian Grassroots and a Likud Victory in Israel can mean only one thing - It's Time for another National Conversation About Race.

As the Director of Development for an overwhelmingly African American place of learning, I take a back seat to no one when it comes to smooching the rumps of already generous folks - most of them are old white guys.

However, I have not been able to guilt people who came by their riches through political pay-to-play and strategic investment of capital in former slum property to send as much as a nickel over to the school on Sangamon.  Much shame to me.  Most of my failure is rooted in an inability to match flim-flam with faith and guff with gelt.
Image result for mellody hobson with street person
You see I am no Desiree Rogers, Mellody Honson. Elzie Higgenbottom, much less Robert Redford, a Michael Moore, or a Cullen Davis. White, or Black, my soul recoils from a huge of pile of . . .bunkum.Not so the media, especially butt-munchers like Chicago Sun Times gossip maven Michael Sneed

The talk of the Twitterverse Wednesday began with a cup of Starbucks that brewed up a storm on social media.
And it was Chicago’s own Mellody Hobson — a financial whiz who is president of Ariel Investments and an African-American member of the Starbucks board of directors — who may have started the coffee brewing.
Well, ShhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeIIIIDDDDDDDDD, Sneed, It might have been Me!  I could have been Eddie Carroll of Carroll Roofing!  You know people say that Eddie came up with the idea of the spitlless harmonica.  The Harmonica Lewinsky! Really. Honor bright.

Race together?

Why, it just might have been Sticky Johnson, who is doing time for breaking into Leo's buses for the catalytic converters and pistol-whipped Mr. Haywood, our mechanic, when he came out and caught Sticky, a Section a Housing Alumnus  who was staying with friends in an apartment on Sangamon.  It just may have been Sticky who may have started the coffee brewing.

Sticky!  Speak on it,  Son!